Rakhi ka Swayamwar

On first spotting the promo I checked the calendar to see if it was April, all fools day and all that. It wasn’t. Halloween too was still a while away.

So ‘Rakhi ka Swayamwar’ was for real, I accepted reluctantly. After baring every legally acceptable body part and then some more, Rakhi Sawant was now going to bare her soul, as she looked for a life partner.

Just like when you think Kareena Kapoor, Size Zero comes to mind, think Cricket and Sachin Tendulkar comes to mind, think Maid and Shiney Ahuja comes to mind so think drama queen and Rakhi comes to mind. Great! Full on masala! I rubbed my hands in glee!

Tears, temper tantrums and tasteless makeup and outfits were what I expected the brazen Rakhi Sawant to entertain me with. However I was in for a surprise! The tears were there all right, but the all new botox-ed and silicone-ed Rakhi was elegantly caked in expert make up, encased in gorgeous outfits and accessories and put up in a beautiful palace.

The new Rakhi demanded respected, from the audience and the sorry looking contestants who were brave and masochistic enough to appear on international television to woo her for marriage. *gulp!* In cleavage, back and navel baring form-fitted outfits the demure Rakhi spoke from under lowered eyelashes, tried smiling bashfully, shed tears copiously and when they overstepped the line, the 16 brave souls were unhesitatingly cut to size by her sharp tongue.

From running down her own family to preaching family love and bonding to the contestants. From crying for ‘true love’ to eliminating the contestants who looked like they would offer it to her along with some complimentary worship thrown in. With every episode Rakhis opinions and definitions about herself changed drastically. With every episode the audience were hooked to her schizo-personality which contradicted herself with alarming regularity. A bloated and visibly bored Ram Kapoor helped her along the way with a sprinkling of tele-stars making appearances as Rakhi’s ‘family’ and awing the contestants as a bonus.

After an entertaining 3 weeks, Rakhi has finally zeroed in on 4 contestants. A 22 year old who still hasn’t shed his baby fat. A wily Ganga-kinare ka ‘chora’, a meek businessman from Delhi and a heavily-accented Canadian businessman.

Lets see who is sacrificed at the altar;-D

Labels: , ,