Movie Review:Krrish

A 20-something, weirdly dressed (wearing a badly tailored outfit that is a cross between a patiala salwar and a dhoti with a cleavage revealing fitted t-shirt and a stole to add to the bizarre look) ‘boy’ called Krishna (Hritik Roshan) runs faster than a horse, skips on water, walks on air and fishes with his bare hand. He is shunned by his friends (but naturally!) because the ball he flings smashes rocks to smithereens and when he goes in to bat, the bat reaches the far horizon.
In spite of these totally unnatural traits he never questions or wonders why he is different (And here I am spending many sleepless nights wondering why I don’t like and support the Brazil football team!) but happily prances about the picturesque village without a care in the world.

Enter a badly made up, skimpily dressed heroine (Priyanka Chopra) who is merrily paragliding, till her glider gets stuck in a tree. Enter wonder boy, Krishna who rescues the hapless damsel in distress and promptly falls in love with her (told ya he was fast!)

The heroine, Priya is in Krishna’s quaint little town along with her friends for an ‘adventure camp’. After some absurd jokes, a couple of totally unnecessary songs thrown in (and no adventure or camp) Priya returns to Singapore leaving a lovelorn and heartbroken Krishna behind.

Suddenly Krishna starts questioning everything, including his poor Grandma (Rekha). After exchanging a few heated words (“You are selfish!” Krishna accuses melodramatically and Grandma cries into her saree pallu) Grandma finally tells him who he is and why he is the way he is.

Far away in Singapore, Priya and her friend are in danger of losing their jobs due to an extended holiday. To escape being fired they concoct a story of discovering a ‘wonderboy’ and convince their boss (Archana Singh) to get him to Singapore. They cook up another story about Priya being in love and pining for with him and con Krishna to fly to Singapore.

You’ve hardly bitten into your first samosa and your popcorn is still untouched but Lo and behold! Krishna is in Singapore, by flight and not by walking on air, even more badly dressed (a rexine coat, for God’s sake!) and proceeds to do all the things that would need to fill another 40 minutes (namely songs, gags and forced romance).

A freak fire in a circus forces him to use his ‘super powers’ that he had promised his Grandma he wouldn’t use, and he dons his rexine coat and an haphazardly cut mask and saves children and assorted other beings by jumping into the fire and doing his usual thing of floating/flying in air.

He is heralded as a super savior and ‘super hero’ and rechristens himself ‘Krrish’, to keep his identity a secret (remember the promise to Grandma?)
Some horrible, amateurish stunts (Mr Roshan’s, you’ve wasted all your money and my time) and much jaw flexing later he does what he has to (you’ll have to watch the movie for that) and leaves us disappointed.

Mr Rakesh Roshan ; You need a holiday.
Mr Hritik Roshan; Please stop working on those arms and work your whole body for a change. You are so physically imbalanced that I fear that you’ll just topple over one day.
Ms Priyanka Chopra ; You need a new make-up man, designer , an acting coach and maybe a new profession. Plastic Surgery on your neck would do you good too.
Rekhaji; Why??
Mr Rakesh Roshan ; I want my money back.
To everyone who forced/cajoled/threatened me into watching this movie ; I told you so!