Guess who's back? ;-D

Your friendly neighborhood Paanwala/Pehelwan! That's who! ;)

*G.R.I.N*

I am NOT a fan of most of these feel-good forwards, but does that stop my friends from mailing them to me? NOT! *insert eye-roll here*
So I get this one in the mail a couple of days ago and, as usual, I am answering back every sentence *Just ONE of my many million quirks* before I decide to delete it.

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1.There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
(Stop assuming on my behalf! I love living too much!)

2.At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
(Uh-oh! ONLY 15 ? I thought the number would be much higher!)

3.The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
(Now, THAT, I agree with)

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
(Hmmmmm, this could be true. Actually it IS true, or so I am told often)

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
(I know *sigh!*. Is that why they have turned insomniacs, then?)

6. You mean the world to someone.
(Correction: to MANY people)

7. You are special and unique.
(Y.A.W.N)

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
(Time to make an appearance, boyo!)

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
(Oh Yes! This is my most favorite deluding-myself-with-each-time-I-mess-up-big-time thought )

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
(Where? Over the shoulder?)

Pehchan Kaun!?!?

Is this
1)Your neighbourhood paanwala, with an unusual affinity for jewelry and silks.
2)A pehelwan at the akhada, with an unusual affinity for jewelry and silks.
3)Britney Spears, having a ‘the-mirror-lied-to-me-*again*'day.


Is this
1)A freak of nature.
2)A person with a rare illness, which causes strange growths to appear on the body.
3)Beyonce, having a bad hip day.


Is this
1)Pandu Havaldar.
2)Your building security guard demanding a pay hike, to feed himself better.
3)Posh Spice, having a ‘I-want-to-look-ridiculous-and-I-will’ day.


Is this
1)Another freak of nature.
2)A lush after a skirmish.
3)Madonna, having a ‘I-missed-my-Kabbalah-meet’ day.


Is this
1)Christopher Walken.
2)The retired neighborhood uncle who is fighting for a cause, always.
3)Kate Moss, having a ‘I-missed-my-daily-Botox-appointment’ day.


Is this
1)A sack of potatoes.
2)A sack of potatoes with a human torso peeping from behind it.
3)Oprah Winfrey, having a ‘Why-do-I-look-like-I-am-emerging-from-a-sack-of-potatoes' day.

Tagging along, randomly...

There’s this Tag doing the rounds of Facebook which of course I HAD to do, because I was Tagged quite a few times and also because I LOVE Tags and being Tagged :)))
Rules of the Tag;

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

Since I have badgered enough people on Facebook by Tagging them, I would like to Tag Anuja, Iris, Maya and Tazeen and whoever else would like to do this, or thinks they need a new blog post;)

1) I am not a fussy eater. I can be force fed food I hate, brinjal, bhindi and the like, with emotional words, gory reminders of world hunger and a chocolate bribe for later.

2) There are times I lead life, then there are times I let life lead me.

3) I love people-watching and file away memories constantly. Writers brain at work 24*7*365.

4) I have become very wise with and about money and am so proud of it that I feel like buying myself a big treat! Till I remember I have become very wise with and about money!

5) I always pick the bright blue M&M’s first. Yes I D.O. K.N.O.W they all taste the same, but I S.T.I.L.L pick the blue ones first. Then the green ones, which are followed by the browns.

6) I need to wash my feet before I go to bed, else I can’t sleep.

7) I love buying colorful ankle socks, all types of cookies and kitchen accessories.

8) I’m the last person in the world you should ask for directions. If you’d follow mine, you’d most probably reach Afghanistan, and come back just to shoot me dead.

9) No matter how long they are, I cannot sleep on flights. After a long flight I stagger out of the aircraft looking like a zombie/sleep-deprived madwoman.

10) I roll my eyes, a lot. I occasionally wonder if they’d probably fall off their sockets someday (Yes, I am a Stephen King fan)

11) I have developed selective amnesia, hearing and sight.

12) The penny drops in R.E.A.L.L.Y late sometimes.

13) I like making my own bed. Army style, bounce-a-bloody-coin-on-it perfect!

14) I get bored of myself sometimes. Then I reinvent.

15) I absolutely abhor it when people I barely know abbreviate my name. Or people I know mispronounce it. Which is why I now refer myself as a single syllable, ‘M’

16) I am a late bloomer and compensate for it by being a swift learner.

17) I cannot comprehend the toilet-seat-position man-woman debate. Really.

18) I think life is really simple; it’s we who complicate it.

19) I’d rather walk barefoot on shards of glass, than speak in front of a crowd.

20) If you are cruel to children I will most probably hate you.

21) I believe that if you want God to laugh you should tell him your plans.

22) I also believe that the wheels of justice grind slow, but they grind exceedingly fine.

23) Reading ‘The Alchemist’ inspired me to initiate major changes in my life.

24) I get all irascible and mopey if I’m idle for too long.

25) 25 points is too little, I could write a book on Me.

Movie Review: Slumdog Millionaire

Slumdog Millionaire – A very ‘poor’ film

As I read Vikas Swarup’s Q & A, his simple, conversational style writing and perfectly etched characters brought the novel alive before my eyes. When I finished reading the wonderful book I eagerly awaited the release of ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ promising myself that I wouldn’t compare the movie to the book, or the picture my imagination had come up with.

I then heard the story had been ‘adapted’ from the book with the basic premise being the same but changes in the storyline and characters. I admit to being a tad disappointed, but the cacophony of praise accompanying every tiny bit of news about the movie forced me to stay positive and eagerly await the release. After winning a multitude of awards and recognitions ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ finally did release here and when I saw it I wished I hadn’t.

For even if I do have qualms about the movie showing the ‘slums and the underbelly’ of India or about the way ‘they have depicted India in general’ the excuse of ‘cinematic liberty’ helps the makers get away with it. And, logically, when the film IS titled ‘Slum Dog Millionaire’ we can hardly have bejeweled maharajas swishing around in silk robes, answering questions in a rigged game show can we? Though slums, caste-fuelled riots filth, treachery, poverty do form a part of India, like they would of any country anywhere in the world, is it all that India is about, and is it all worth showing about India I wondered. And the American Lady telling the young Jamal ‘I will show you what the real America is’ was a real low-blow.

My only qualm is what are people praising to the skies? What did I miss?

What angle of ‘the love story’ and ‘Jamal’s love for Latika’ left people ‘misty-eyed’?

Where was the chemistry between Jamal and Latika? Where was the bonding? Where was the yearning? IMHO after Jackie Shroff and his dog in ‘Teri Meharbaniyaan’ Dev Patel and Frieda Pinto are the most mismatched couple on screen, ever!

Dev Patel is an awkward 16 year old in real life and it showed on screen as well. Besides the fact that his diction and body language were far too polished to be a chai-wala, he didn’t look like one either. As I watched him fumbling on screen, I wondered if growing up in England, he even knew what a chai-wala was?

Frieda Pinto just gets lucky by being in the right place, in this case movie, and at the right time. Her lack of talent is evenly balanced by her lack of looks. Older than Dev Patel in real life, she looked so on screen as well.

This probably had to be the 1st first film where I watched Irfan Khan hamming.

Mahesh Manjerkar looked so filthy I wished he would go and have a hot bath!

Madhur Mittal, playing the oldest Salim, was completely wasted in a miniscule part.
The only bright spots for me were;

Anil Kapoor, brown/red beard et all, in an ill-defined role, which he carried off with much aplomb, when he wasn’t hamming and looking like he’s going to seriously lose it any moment now!

Saurabh Shukla, who is an actor par excellence!

The kids playing Jamal and Salim, who were simply adorable bundles of talent.

Assault on the senses!

I am the worst dressed woman in the whole world. Understand?? Yes, J. Lo Ma’am!


Dear Janet. To borrow your brothers famous words, ‘Just beat it!’ before we go blind.


Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
Scratch that!
Is it a bird? Is it an ageing Boy George?
No, it’s a before-her-botox-shots, Madonna!!


'Allo children! In between perfecting anorexia and zipping around the world trying to adopt as many of you as I can, Mama-Jolie has been learning the art of applying eyeliner, from Amy Winehouse!


And I am the infamous Amy Winehouse! Now go roll me a joint, brat!


After being dressed like this, do you blame me for wanting to tear my hair apart? No we don’t Beyonce. We most certainly don’t!


Donatella, to think you own one of the best designs labels! Cover up woman, before you hear of Gianni Versace spinning in his grave!


Is this a ladies-only gig? Who cares, even if it is!! I have to barge in to flaunt my award, for the most frightening dressing style! I’ve usurped you J.LO!So there!!!

My New Year Resolution

Wishing you a year brimming with joy, wellbeing, blessings, wisdom, triumphs and everything you wish for.
Have a marvelous 2009!

AH! WELL!

OK, so Simon Cowell is terribly caustic on screen. But who’s listening?
I’m just ogling!

Before you ask: No, this blog hasn’t morphed into a fantasy, or sumsuch, blog. It's just that I’ve realized that feasting on eyecandy is a calorie-free treat!;)

Oh-Bama!

He surely gets MY vote!!;))

The Aliens had landed: Part 2

After suitably terrifying you with Part 1 of the same, Ladies and Gentlemen, I now present to you images of what scared the Aliens off on their 2nd journey to Earth!


You will be forgiven if you thought this was some creature dressed in drag. I have forgiven myself for thinking the same about Bipasha Basu.


Yes, it could have been a look for a shoot/film/fashion show. Still!! Ranbir Kapoor, I much prefer you looking like a pretty, size zero, girl!

Talking of size zero…What is this? Who is this? Why is this? Bebo, just GoGo and EAT, for heaven sake!


Amisha Patel’s acting prowess left a lot to be desired. Sadly, so does her dressing sense. Love the cute petal-ly bag that she cleverly uses to hide her paunch, though!


You know Madge, you now seem just perfect for teaching aspiring doctors the nerve and muscle formation of the human body. Ever been asked to volunteer?


R.I.P, my feelings-that-must-not-be-named-in-public for George Clooney. His new, rather avuncular, look only manages to evoke *gulp* respect.